This movie has just the right balance of humor and misery that you can simultaneously laugh at it while you relate to it. I think that’s the genre of movie for our time – sad and funny. Anyone who either has a dysfunctional family or has been on a road trip will completely appreciate this film. It’s cynical enough that it feels like truth, while still retaining a glimmer of hope to keep us all going. It belongs in the same camp as Junebug and Thumbsucker.

This is certainly something we’ll be buying on DVD as soon as it’s available.

Where Hotel succeeds in sucking, where others have failed is in this: Hotel thinks it’s a smart art film. I also thinks that it thinks it’s funny. It’s not. It is a little sexy, which is the movie’s saving grace. But it’s not nearly sexy enough to make me not regret sitting through the whole film.

The movie is (apparently) about a film crew making a movie version of "The Duchess Of Malfi" while a second crew makes a documentary in the process. You can tell pretty quickly that while there was an outline for the film, there was no script. Some actors thrive in a situation like this: David Schwimmer and Salma Hayek are not among them. But I digress. The crews are staying in a Hotel, apparently staffed by cannibals, or vampires. I’m siding with cannibals on this one, since no one beared fangs or bit anyone on the jugular.

And this might be an interested beginning to the story, if the acting and details has any sense of realism to it. But it doesn’t. At no point in the film could I suspend disbelief long enough to believe this was anything but some kid’s semester project in a community college film class. And it looks like one too, since the whole movie is shot in DV.

I learned a few things by sitting through this film this weekend. And basically, it’s that I think film is dead to me now. Here’s why:

1. Anyone who has many any movie can get someone to say good enough things about it to put on a DVD’s cover. So, quotes and reviews are now meaningless.
2. Saying something did well at Cannes, or was a favorite by Sundance or IFC is also meaningless at this point. In fact, over the past year I’ve treated these endorsements on a DVD’s cover a bit like the message from the surgeon general on a pack of cigarettes. More a warning than an endorsement.
3. I’ve seen three movies in the last few years in the theater that I thought were worth the money: Garden State, Dawn of the Dead, and The Ring. The last one i can remember before that is American Beauty. So I’m just about done seeing movies in the theater and close do done renting DVDs.
4. I can tolerate an average album, because there’s usually a track or two I’ll still enjoy. Plus, an album doesn’t typically have my full attention. But a film does. And a lot more often than not, I find myself wishing I had done something else with those two hours I just lost from my life. Like reading a book, or doing a few loads of laundry.

Land of the Dead

I’m a big fan of the zombie genre. In fact, they’re my favorite horror movies. However, horror movies are a little like westerns in that a good horror (or western) movie isn’t necessarily a good movie in general. You know when a horror movie is actually a good movie when either a) it’s not described as a horror movie or b) when people who don’t like horror movies like this movie – like "The Ring".

Land of the Dead isn’t a bad movie. It’s also not a great movie. I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone who doesn’t like horror or zombie movies. I would recommend the remake of "Dawn of the Dead" or "28 Days Later" to anyone. I would recommend this movie to people who like gross horror movies and need something to do before 6pm on a weekend – especially when it’s as hot out as it is right now.

Revenge of the Sith

I saw it, and it wasn’t as bad as the two previous prequels. But that still doesn’t make it good. It doesn’t even make it close to good. But it’s watchable, and it’s over, which is all I really wanted. George Lucas should be tried by an international court for what he’s done to Star Wars with the prequels.

In addition to the bad acting, bad dialogue, and overdone CGI sequences, there’s the whole premise of the sequels. In the original films, Darth Vader is a bad motherfucker. Now, he’s just a petulant child who felt he didn’t get the mad props he deserved. Typical.

Louis XIV @ Metro

This was a free show, so my expectations were pretty low. But these guys were great – a combination of early Rolling Stones with some AC/DC guitar licks. The best part though, is that while some seriously derivative bands might show some sense of self-awareness about their lack of originality – these guys were having none of that. Pointing at the crowd? They invented that. The kick in the air while playing the guitar hook? Yeah, they created that too. They kicked ass, and were so serious about it that for a moment you didn’t realize how ridiculous this could have been.

Best part of the evening? Rounds of drinks to a DJ spinning 80s and 90s alternative music at SmartBar.

Q101 Block Party

I actually remember remarkably little of this evening. I know this: Hot Hot Heat opened, and they sucked. Interpol went on next, and they were as good as they always are. Queens of the Stone Age went on last, but I recall nothing of it because we were drinking for free at that point. Sometime later, I recall jumping a fence, drinking a margarita, and eating an enchilada.

Stars @ Metro

This was more upbeat than I expected it to be. Most of the music I listen to is either fairly dark and depressing, or entirely instrumental. This was neither. Sybaris opened, and they made up for the lack of darkness of the main act. But I was in the company of good friends, so it was a great evening out. Later, we all would up at a bar playing old alternative music – perfect.

Meat Beat Manifesto @ Metro

I have to admit: I thought this show was going to be a bit more "live" than it really was. Basically, it was 3 guys on laptops and electronics, one guy on live drums, and two big screens of projected video. But what they lacked in physical performance they made up for with a long show. I didn’t get out of the Metro until nearly 1am. In a live context, it’s a bit difficult to tell where one song ended and another began – but it’s no matter. I was with a great friend and we had great conversation with MBM as the backdrop.

Dotshop is the new Boomkat

I love Boomkat.com, but I don’t love the exchange rate between the UK and the US. But I’m in luck: Dotshop.se has a very similar selection, plenty of audio samples, and a slightly favorable exchange rate. Let the importing begin!

Piano Lessons

I’m still taking piano lessons, although I haven’t had one in a few weeks. But for the first time ever, I know which keys are which. Next up, scales, inversions and chords.

Illustrator Tutorials

I’ve always been a little intimidated by Illustrator. Until now, I’ve mostly used it for pretty basic operations – and then imported objects into Photoshop or Fireworks to get real work done. But no more – I’m working my way through a book of tutorials to finally become an Illustrator master.

Vacations are best spent near civilization

You’ll notice that the awful things that happen to teens and twentysomethings on vacation. typically happen in locales that don’t have good cell phone reception. My advice: don’t holiday anywhere with less than three bars of cell signal. Can you hear me now? Exactly.

Pick your vacation travelers wisely

If you’re going to a remote place with a group of people, pick those people very carefully. If you’re going to stumble into cannibals, the undead, serial killers or a flesh-eating bacteria, you want a solid team.

Pack your own water

Mainly because you just never know. Bad water could be as harmless as a case of food-poisoning, or as bad as the previously mentioned flesh-eating bacteria. Long story short: a case of Dasani will run you under $8. Play it safe.

Be nice to the locals

You may be from the big city, but they know the local score. Treat the locals with respect and you have better odds of not winding up on a milk carton. Act under the assumption that they not only know where the bodies are buried, but had a hand in picking the location.

Two words: Roadside Assistance

Whether it’s AAA or some service through your cell phone company – it’s worth it. For $4 a month, it’s nice to know someone’s got your back when you’re stranded in the middle of nowhere.

Hideo Nakata directed "The Ring 2". Nakata also directed the original Japanese "Ringu", on which the American "The Ring" was based. But this isn’t good news. "Ringu" is a particularly bad film when compared to the American "The Ring". And "The Ring 2" carries the same disappointment as it’s Japanese counterparts.

There are excessive and unnecessary camera shots done because they were possible, not because they enhance the story. Overall, the story is lacking. And the acting talents of Naomi Watts can’t make up for it. If you must see this movie, catch a matinee or wait for the rental.